A lot of people have asked me what to do and how to act when they meet they Bangali friend the first time.  I understand how they feel because my husband told me how nervous he was when he first meet me. He didn't know what to do, how to act, what to say and was always wondering if he said something offensive. So I decided to make this page to help gentlemen and give them ideas how to act naturally when first meeting their friend.

First, let me tell you how bangla are. Bangali women are shy in nature, reserved, easy to please, smart and friendly.

Let us start with the word shy. Bangali women are brought up by their parents to be shy. Actually, we know how to carry good conversations. What is hard for us usually is how to start it. When I first meet my husband, my family was there. Still,  I felt so nervous, the only word I could say was "Hi". I didn't even shake his hand, I was so scared.  I practiced and rehearsed what to say before we meet but when he was there I was so ashamed to even  speak!  All I did was smile. Some Bangali are comfortable to shake hands, to give a friendly hug or kiss on the cheeks on the first meeting, but I wasn't. On the first day, he was the one who always started the conversation. He talked about his flight, how his place looks, how cold it is during winter in the US, how different it is in the Bangladesh & other things. This makes me feel more comfortable with him, I knew he was trying! But I was still worried that I might say the wrong English words to him and he might get turned off. But when I started to talk, he told me I could speak English well. And he added that he didn't mind if sometimes I couldn't say straight English. That boost my self esteem. So that made me feel it is OK for me to talk. So I suggest to every gentleman to make your bangali friend comfortable being with you first. Don't try so hard to impress her because they might misunderstand you. Just be yourself and be a gentleman. bangali  like to laugh, so if you have good clean jokes, it might be the right time to tell it. It will also be an added bonus if you will spend some time with your bangali friend's family. It will show her that you care about her family and not just her. 

Now the word reserved. Even though there are bangali  that are open minded now, it is still our nature to be conservative. Courtship in the bangladesh usually last months and months before the woman says yes to the man. We don't talk with guys on the side of the road because it is improper. Our parents keep on telling us that women are suppose to be conservative and reserved.

When meeting your bangali friend for the first time, she might ask you if she could bring a chaperone or chaperones. More than likely her parents, aunt or an older sister. This is natural because parents there are very protective especially for their daughters. If she lives in a remote town and you feel it is not safe for you to visit her in her town, you can ask her to come meet you in a larger city and inform her that you hope she would bring a chaperone so people will not get the wrong idea about the meeting. Don't be aggressive. It is a BIG turn off and very offensive for a man to be aggressive. I won't suggest a stolen kiss. Even though your intention is not bad, she most likely will misinterpret it and think that you are taking advantage of her. When walking on a road, be a gentleman and take the danger side of the side walk, the side next to the traffic. Open the door for her.  This will not just impress her but will also tell her that you care for her safety.

Bangalis are very easy to please. You don't have to be a superman to impress us. Just little things like opening a door for us, asking if we feel comfortable or if we are thirsty will really be appreciated. We don't ask for expensive gifts. If you have some gifts for your bangali  friend, she will greatly appreciate it. Just a suggestions, bangalis love Chocolates, especially if they are imported. It does not matter what brand they are. All they ask for a man is to be honest and sincere and stand to his word. They don't like men that don't have words of honor. So if you will say or promise your friend something, make sure that you will do it. If you can't, she will surely listen to your explanations and will understand you if it is reasonable. Remember, we can tell if you are making stories!  You don't have to wear fancy clothes when you meet her. Just wear casual clothing that makes you feel comfortable. Remember, it is a whole lot warmer in the Bangladesh, so if you don't want to be dripping with sweat in front of your friend, choose the most comfortable clothes you have.  And one other thing, bangali are easily offended by obscene  and vulgar words. So, I will advise all the gentlemen that are meeting their friend for the first time, do not say vulgar words.

Bangalis are smart. We don't like being treated like we don't know anything.  We know that our country is poor, but we don't like people saying bad things about it. We love our country, so, don't say anything that compares our country to other countries. Don't say any offensive things that will make us feel sorry for not being in a rich country. And also, if you are with your friend, do not show interest to other women. Because even if it is not your intention, even if you are just looking, she will think you are more interested in the other women than her. Who wouldn't feel this way? There are lots of attractive women in the Bangladesh, especially when you are in the mall. It is a disrespect if you pay more attention to your surroundings and the women that surrounds you instead of your bangali friend.  Express your feelings but don't be too forward and aggressive. Don't push her to have a decision immediately. Give her time and be patient.

Bangalis are naturally friendly. They love to make friends. So if you are just being yourself and not trying too hard to impress them, they will be more comfortable spending time with you. 

Lastly, don't forget to have a good time. Remember, you are going to the Bangladesh to meet your bangali  friend, not to an audition or job interview that you need to be perfect. Sometimes, your imperfections are the ones that make women fall in love with you.

Good luck.

Junaliza